The Palace of the King
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Saturday, July 15, 2006
Took a walk alone last night
Slept inside your head
It was raining hard again,
crawled back into bed
Tried to catch up to you
But you moved too fast
Thought about a million things
Fell asleep at last
Got up again last night
Tore all over town
Skidding tires screeching brakes
Barely make a sound
We were on a winding road
Going 65
Slid along an icy stretch, made it back alive
Little eyes are open but they don't see very far
You can only hurt the ones you love
Not the ones you're thinking of
Little eyes are open but they're sinking back again
Don't you know you're sleeping much too long
Wake up little eyes
Moving but not gaining any ground
Climbing up the escalator as it takes you down
Last night I heard this sound
Echoed everywhere
Like a buzzing amplifier
Burning through the air
It's still raining hard, you said
Have you any clue?
Is it ever gonna stop?
I guess that's up to you
Little eyes are open but they don't see very far
You can only hurt the ones you love
Not the ones you're thinking of
Little eyes are open but they're sinking back again
Don't you know you're sleeping much too long
Wake up little eyes
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
I seem to recognize your face
Haunting, familiar yet, I can't seem to place it
Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name
Lifetimes are catching up with me
All these changes taking place, I wish I'd seen the place
But no one's ever taken me
Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...
I swear I recognize your breath
Memories like fingerprints are slowly raising
Me you wouldn't recall, for I'm not my former
It's hard when you're stuck upon the shelf
I changed by not changing at all, small town predicts my fate
Perhaps that's what no one wants to see
I just want to scream...hello...
My god its been so long, never dreamed you'd return
But now here you are, and here I am
Hearts and thoughts they fade...away...
Friday, July 29, 2005
12:13AM
I wonder if I could fit inside my fridge.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
What moon songs
Do you sing your babies
What sunshine
Do you bring
Who belongs
Who decides who’s crazy
Who rights wrongs
Where others cling
I’ll sing for you
If you want me to
I’ll give to you
And it’s a chance I’ll have to take
And it’s a chance I’ll have to break
I go along
Just because I’m lazy
I go along
To be with you
And those moon songs
That you sing your babies
Will be the songs
To see you thru
I’ll hear your song
If you want me to
I’ll sing along
And it’s a chance I’ll have to take
And it’s a chance I’ll have to break
Friday, November 12, 2004
11:51PM
I think I'm spending more time running away from my problems than actually letting them go or solving them.
Current mood: FUCK!!!!! Current music: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Friday, July 16, 2004
MAN, WHAT A KICK ASS DAY! I GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND MARTHA STEWART IS GOING TO PRISON!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
It's really a good feeling when two people can cease with bullshit and just be honest with one another.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
I saw this on Cindy's LJ, and since I'm both a movie and music freak it seemed like a cool thing to do.
Question: If your life was a movie, what songs would you choose for the following:
Opening Credits:My Name is Jonas - Weezer
Waking Up Scene: What I Got - Sublime
Average Day: Better Days - Citizen King
Best Friends Scene: A.M. Radio - Everclear
First Date Scene: Under the Boardwalk - The Drifters
Falling In Love Scene: Satelite - Dave Matthews Band
Love Scene: The Shining - Badly Drawn Boy
Fight with Best Friend Scene: Seasons - Chris Cornell
Fight with Lover Scene: Hemorrhage - Fuel
Break Up Scene: Say It Ain't So - Weezer
Get back Together Scene: Hold On - Tom Waits
Lifes Okay Scene:Rocket - The Smashing Pumpkins
Heartbreak Scene: The Background - Third Eye Blind
Mental Breakdown Scene: Broken - Seether
Driving Scene: Pink Moon - Nick Drake
Make OUT scene: Say Goodbye - Dave Matthews Band
Deep Thought Scene: Deadweight - Beck
Flashback: Present Tense - Pearl Jam
Party Scene: Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails
Regret Scene: Like a Stone - Audioslave
Long Night Alone Scene: Jackass - Beck
Death Scene: Hummer - The Smashing Pumpkins
Closing Credits:Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies
Wednesday, July 7, 2004
11:56AM
I got a job, I start a few hours from now.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Saturday, April 17, 2004
I've decided that I'm going to make my journal friends only, so if you're someone I know and you want me to put you on my friends list, just let me know.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
I know that its been awhile since I last posted, but there hasn't been much to report or nothing that's been anybody's business except for those of you that already knew. Anyway, I'm back at home for one more day and things are still a little strange. My mom isn't very happy with my father because he isn't telling her anything that's going on and so every once in a while they get into these really stupid arguments about things he or she never said in the first place. I don't really care anymore because when I look back, this has been going on throughout their entire marriage.
I watched this movie called Before Sunrise and its a really good film but you have to be tolerant because the two main characters pretty much just talk and nothing else. Anyway this is a scene that sort of made me think about my parents:
Selene: Have you ever heard that as couples get older, they lose their ability to hear each other?
Jesse: No.
Selene: Well, supposedly, men lose the ability to hear higher-pitched sounds, and women eventually lose hearing in the low end. I guess they sort of nullify each other, or something.
Jesse: I guess. Nature's way of allowing couples to grow old together without killing each other.
I just think that most arguments between couples are kind of stupid. For example my brother's girlfriend felt that in forgetting to wash one of her socks, he was showing a sign that he didn't really love her. Ok, here is a question. How do you defend something like that? The only thing you can really do is wash the sock and hope for the best. Who knows how close my brother was to spending that night sleeping on the couch of the apartment they share just because he forgot to wash a sock.
I was talking to one of my friends and she said that mabye the fighting between couples is just a step in progressing their love for one another. In some ways I agree when the fight has something to do with how they don't listen to each other, or how each of them needs to be more open to each other. Those are the kinds of things that could make a relationship better, but then again I've heard the arguments between my parents, and most of them are like the sock one.
One of the reasons I am on this topic right now is that another one of my brothers will be married in 6 days. I wonder what's going on in his head right now. Who knows he could be thinking about the perks and downs of his marriage. The times that he's late in picking up the kids from soccer practice, or how they start talking about what annoys each other like how she has this anoying habit of rolling over in place three times in a row growling right before she goes to sleep or his stupid grin as he's watching Letterman. And of course, the fights about money!!!!!
I'm sure everyone has heard this millions of times: "I'm never getting married." There is probably a different reason for everyone but I'm sure in many ways everyone has this reason embedded in them somewhere: They don't want to argue about the dumbest shit. The thing is, we are all annoyed by one thing or another and that may be one of the reasons (I don't know, I'm not married and I probably won't be for a while - at least I hope not). It doesn't really matter to me that much because if the argument is stupid all I have to do is laugh, as long as it doesn't break two people apart, unless they really, really, shouldn't be together. Like... celebrities.
Current mood: "High Fidelity" mood Current music: I Need You Tonight - INXS
Monday, March 15, 2004
With the exception of last night I haven't really posted anything recently and there are a couple things I have wanted to write about.
A few minutes ago I was talking to a friend of mine and we got on to the subject of emotion and more specifically love in general. She believes that love in our environment is not really possible in any case. I disagree in the sense that I think it is possible, but damn near impossible to find in reality. Because of this feeling she has decided that to ensure that her heart is never broken, she will stay firm in the belief that it does not exist until she meets the person that proves her wrong. I sort of feel like that she is trying to save herself from being any more unhappy than she already is. Who wants to feel like crap? More importantly, who wants to live. If you set your life on safety, you could miss what you're trying to achieve. People in general need to stop letting there fear control them. Things are going to go wrong in life. The people you love will leave you, life will sometimes suck, and you'll probably question what is going on around you, but you have to let go. Another friend of my said to me today, "Don't think too much." We really need to just work on living and not let ourselves be imprisoned by concern that something else will go wrong. Something always goes wrong, but if only something goes wrong then something else has to go right. What emotion do you want to have without it consuming you? Think about your actions, but don't be controlled by them. How many people could be happy tonight if they didn't hold back? Doesn't this seem a heck of a lot like another post of mine?
The other thing I wanted to write about was how people should play out there emotions between there friends. You ever see the movies where the guy trys to confess his love to a girl through the use of a mixed tape. DON'T DO THAT!!!!!! But why don't you mix a cd for a friend. Make it have some of the stuff you like, maybe it should have music that has changed your life in some way. Make a cd with music that will make someone else happy and then give it to them. I don't believe in chain letters, because I think they give off pressure that isn't necessary, but for those of you that like this idea, do it and then suggest on your own live journal.
Current mood:  calm Current music: Corduroy - Pearl Jam
Tuesday, March 9, 2004
One of the things my friends and I have been experiencing recently is that we are meeting people who we have feelings for. Recently I've held back any action what so ever, because I don't want to make any of the mistakes I've made before. If you are a fan of romantic comedies you know that there is always an issue, but I think the two things that we worry about these days the most are a) rejection and b) fucking up a friendship, that you would not be able to recover if you tell her/him. Sometimes when I walk around campus I see couples pretty much making out and nothing else. That isn't a relationship, that's two lonely, horny teenagers together. I don't really know what I want but I don't want it to be that, I want there to be more meaning to it and I wonder if that can really exist here.
I have a few friends that sort of feel the same way, and I wonder whether people ever get the happy ending they wish for. These people and myself, really need to bite the bullet and try to resolve this after we ask ourselves the most important question of all and that, my friends, is "what if?" What if I were to do this, what if there could be happiness, what if he/she said yes would it work out between us, would I really want to be in it? I think Steve Martin said it best in La Story when he said, "Let your mind go, and your body will follow." The point is, our worrys and our minds prevent us from doing what we truly feel, and we can't let that happen. This is not to mean you shouldn't think, but when you get to that point where you have thought it through and you know, then don't think and just breath.
At this current time, when we find ourselves in this situation, fear exists more than anything else, but sometimes if we ever want to be happy, we have to rage against the dying of the light. For those of you who find yourselves in this situation, you need to, we all need to understand that our chance at happiness might finally rely on our bravery.
"Our existence is not futile. We're going to win this thing. Humankind is too, good. We're not a bunch of underachievers. We're going to stand up, and we're going to be human beings. We're going to get fired up about the real things, the things that matter, creativity and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit." - Man on bull horn
Current mood:  weird Current music: Something about the way you look tonight - Elton John
Monday, March 8, 2004
Do you ever think what life would be like if we all had our own personal soundtrack playing around us? That would be cool. For example, James Brown could be playing when you find out some really good news, and then maybe Bob Dylan when you're really depressed. The problem is, it would only be a good idea if you were the only one that could hear it, because some people would put rap on their soundtrack and if you can hear, they might want to turn it all the way up. You would be walking across campus and all you would hear was, "Bomp, bomp bomp, BOMP BOMP BA BOMP." It would be as bad as a car stereo. A really bad scenario would be to listen to another person's sore mood, say.......Peter Gabriel.
Here are my five songs for five moods:
1. Sad: Can't Even Tell by Soul Asylum
2. Content: Where do I begin? by Chemical Brothers
3. Angry: F*cking in the Bushes by Oasis
4. After I just heard good news: Papa's Got a Brand New Bag by James Brown
5. Mellow: Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
What would some of yours be?
Current mood:  bored out of relief Current music: Got Me Wrong by Alice in Chains
Sunday, March 7, 2004
I think that this weekend has made me understand who my friends are. I've been through a few shit weeks (more like months actually) and last night was the worst of it. A handful of people then talked to me and I started to realize that these guys were willing to listen to what was bothering me. I was able to talk with people that weren't pulling the, "I'm so sorry, poor thing," card, but people that were listening to what was wrong and suggesting what I might to do to work on it. The individual must take the journey for his own self discovery by himself, and I stand by that no matter what. However, your friends can help you get there faster, and you should let them, you just need to finish it off on your own, because no one else can change you except yourself. Anyway, to all the people that were there for me, I thank you.
Did anyone understand anything I just wrote......lol
Current mood: calm Current music: Take a Picture - Filter
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
As a writer, I now understand the point of a dedication page. I think some writers feel that the best way to write a story is to figure out who you're writing for. There needs to be a purpose, and once you have that creativity can flow easily. If you're writing for yourself than ok, you know exactly what you're doing. This is really how I write. I write for myself, but I also write for those who might find meaning in what I have to say, and so I keep coming up with ideas. Its a time when I write the best.
Current mood: artistic Current music: Who? Where? Why? - Jesus Jones
As a writer, I feel that bullshit can come naturally in the way of fiction. The problem with fiction, is that it ussuallly does not resemble real life in any way. Take, for example, the famed romantic comedy, or to break it down even further, the high school romantic comedy. Writers can make something up, slap it on the silver screen, and make it believable. This doesn't, however, have any connection to what really happens. Lets start with the basic formula for a teen movie.
Cute guy and a cute girl. we have plenty of these people in real life, doesn't seem like much bullshit to start out with, but it goes on.
Guy is dumped. Girl is dumped. Also very common.
Dumped guy and dumped girl meet and proceed to build up a very good friendship. Something comes in the way of them and right as they are about to fall for each other, this thing splits them apart. Typical movie formula. In real life, if these people feel a mutual attraction, it will happen and as a result a new relationship starts. The girl doesn't find out the guy made a bet about getting together with her, and the guy doesn't find out that she's bi.
Girl and Guy finally get together, and live happily ever after. That is the biggest bullshit of them all. The problem with romantic comedies is that they don't show how it really is after true love. There are fights, and there are arguments. People will do stupid things that could break everything apart, and sometimes it does break apart. But there are other times when all the problems in the world won't stop two people from being together, and when there are movies like that, I think they do their best to portray them honestly.
I enjoy romantic comedies, but I just think that they're mostly bull. Anybody out there agree?
I recently saw this movie called Waking Life, and its kind of changed my outlook on things. The movie is about a guy who can't stop dreaming. Every time he wakes up, he's waking up into another dream. All the people he encounters in his dream have different opinions about the world around them, and what is responsible for it being the way it is. Anyway, at the end of the movie the main character is talking to this other person (trust me I'm not giving anything away) who says that time doesn't go ahead, it just stays at this one moment. His theory is that God is asking us our whole life whether we wish to be righteous and go to heaven, and eventually we answer yes, and that is the time when we die.
This made me think, not really about the whole concept involving God, but more about the moment. I don't know if its always now, but I do know that life consists of a series of moments. Sometimes there are many at a time, and then it will be years until another one comes, but when the moments come we make decisions.
I'm not one to think about, "what if tonight were your last night alive?" because I really don't know the answer. I could look back and see that most of my life has been shit. The real question is, what would you do with your last night? The answer on a scale of age would be pretty obvious. From teenager to a little over thirty the answer would be, "Drunk, stoned, and screwed," while the older crowd (say 40-60) would say, "Tell everyone who meant anything to me, that I loved them," and the old geezers would be, "Screw you, I can't die now?" But for the individual, there is always something they would want to do besides the generic. As for me, I think I would want to make everything wrong around me right. This is an unlikely goal, but its the only way I could look back on my last moment and say, "I can now sleep peacefully." What about you?
Current mood: tired Current music: Kill the Sexplayer - Girls Against Boys
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